No matter how successful we are, taking time out to provide self-care to our body is a key to sustaining a long and lasting career. We need to remember to take the sick days when we are feeling down or not 100% so our bodies can recharge. We need to keep our minds sharp and our awareness keen by practicing self-care each and every day. We need to use our vacation days or plan vacation days if we are self-employed to allow our creative juices to flow and to re-charge our passions and the energy we use to ignite our careers.

Here are three “R’s” that I use to maximize my time-outs and help me on my life journey of self-care:

• REGULAR:  Incorporate a self-care routine into your regular schedule based on your joys and passion. For me, my regular self-care includes tennis, walking my dog, and doing some group exercises to music. What’s it for you? Find out and make it a priority as part of your regular everyday life routine.
• RECHARGE:  When you start feeling a bit weak, sick, or down in the weather, you need to “recharge.” Get a few extra hours of rest/sleep and take the sick days when you need them. You are better off taking the time-out and rejuvenating your body rather than fighting it and prolonging the agony. You will find out you mend faster and are more focused when you return to your full potential by taking the time to recharge. Your body will definitely let you know when it needs to be recharged and you need to listen to it. Recharging is critical to sustaining your success and seeing results you are looking to achieve.
• RELAX:  Do not let a year go by when you do not use the vacation days you earned and when you use them, use them to relax and let your mind and body wander! No matter if you’re company pays you for the days not used or not, your body, your mind, and your wellbeing will benefit more from these days when you use them rather than wasting them away or cashing in on the money instead. The benefits to your health and well-being will far outweigh any cash rewards. You are never so important that you can’t find time to relax, rest, and rejuvenate on a regular basis. You will find out that your creativity and sharpness will be improved when you do take these time-outs and enjoy some relaxation. Your body and your mind do need a break. So don’t deprive them of these well-deserved breaks.

Remember to create a regular routine, listen to your body to recharge, and take the time to relax to expand your thinking and creativity, and you will begin to see wonders in the results you will achieve. So, now I’m off to a well-deserved break and vacation with my two lovely daughters. Enjoy your time-outs and share them with us at http://www.coaching4abundance.com/blog/.

If you don’t know the answer to this question, I would highly encourage you to find out. Brainstorm a list of activities or people you feel passionate about. Don’t worry about how long or short the list is, just taking the time to tap into your passions will make a world of difference. For me, some of my passions include playing tennis, being with my family, helping support women to be leaders in their life, music/singing, and dancing. Once you have your list, look at how you are incorporating these passions into your life on a daily basis. When you are making choices, look at how you are able to bring your passions into these choices. For instance, I love to work out with music as well as going to Zumba classes which incorporates dance into exercise. Since I’m passionate about music and dance, incorporating these into my exercise routine motivates and inspires me to stay on track with my exercise routine.

By incorporating your passions into your daily activities, you will raise your positive energy level and that overwhelming sense of joy will motivate and inspire you to get the work or activities accomplished with lots of energy. When you incorporate positive energy into what you do, you will not only be successful in accomplishing the tasks but you will also increase the positive endorphins in your body and decrease your overall stress level.

When you are feeling blue, stuck, or out of sorts, taking time out to connect with your passions or incorporating your passions into what you are doing will raise your energy level and ignite your spirit, and help motivate you toward a higher state of being. Know your passions, write them down (I have mine on a 3 x 5 card in my purse and on my bulletin board), and keep them close to you so you can rely on them to help you make wise choices and ignite your career and your life. Incorporate them into all dimensions of your life both your professional and your personal life. Don’t let them take a back seat but make them front and center. The best Valentine’s gift you can give to yourself is to find and re-ignite your passions. Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

My viewpoint is a bit different than Sheryl’s. Sure I see the challenges we face with these labels and perceptions and realize that in general, the people who are in control (e.g. men) feel more comfortable to be in “like” company. Hey, I like to be around other women and see their creativity and insights which are aligned more with my point of view, so it’s only human nature. However, when I think about the most successful team’s I have been on, it was a mixture of creativity, risk taking, and detailed organized behavior that create amazing results. It was a diverse team that celebrated each other’s strengths and looked to capitalize on them as part of the overall good for the team.

So, shouldn’t we celebrate and value the strengths of each member of the team and want to have a diverse leadership team that understands the challenges at all levels of the organization? I see many women at midlevel management who have big ambitions to continue to move up to executive leadership roles but are passed over or not considered in the process because the criteria are one sided. To have an impact right now, what we need to do is to educate the existing leadership about these differences and about the benefits of having these differences on their team. Not to have a single standard for the team. I’m sure you have read many articles that demonstrate that diversity in higher level leadership results in real results and value to the organization. So why not focus on that ambition; the ambition of the organization to be widely successful by having a diverse leadership team. Why not find a way to create a high performing and diverse leadership team that is based on the highest level outcome or value to the organization (not to the individual)?

What organization wouldn’t want to see profits increase by 30%? In general, reports Catalyst, boards with three or more women outperformed companies with zero women on boards by 84 percent for return on sales, 60 percent for return on invested capital and 46 percent for return on equity. So to me, the focus should be on creating these high performing, diverse teams that can see through this ambition gap and look for the real gold at the end of the rainbow! At least, that is my ambition!

Given the status of the election and the Republican race, I’m struck by how much our society focuses on providing negative perspectives and feedback, rather than supporting and creating uplifting momentum that respects another person’s point of view. You don’t have to agree with the point of view but a little kindness could certainly go a very long way with these debates and the process. We might actually learn what a candidates real platforms, thoughts, and actions might be rather than hear all the mudslinging that goes around. This technique can also work in the work place, as my guest, Neca Smith, talked about on Women Warriors (www.blogtalkradio.com/womenwarriors) this week. When we take the time to listen and have a little compassion in the workplace, we realize that many of the situations we get in that can cause us to get angry and frustrated are brought about just by us not demonstrating our compassion and kindness. Wow, isn’t it amazing how this topic aligned with me this week! By listening to that opposing perspective, we might actually create a framework that allows us to see powerful results as well as provide an environment of appreciation and support. Something that most people in this current economy, I’m sure, really need.

I also saw a great article by Amanda Horne (Jan 24, 2012) of Positive Psychology News Daily (http://positivepsychologynews.com/) titled “Kindness in the Festive Season” regarding an interview of the Acts of Kindness Advent Calendar creator, Kurt Shuster. Based on research that we are happier when giving than when receiving, this group unveiled an on-line Acts of Kindness Advent Calendar on December 1st, 2011 to use instead of the normal chocolate or gift calendar’s that we normally see. Readers of the website clicked to discover an act of kindness they could undertake each day prior to Christmas. Here’s the website so you can see for yourself! (http://www.noomii.com/advent-calendar-2011/)

I’m struck by how much is done during the holiday season to help others and provide support but after the holidays are over, we get busy and sometimes this focus on kindness is fleeting and we get caught up in the daily grind again forgetting how important it is to support each other. We can certainly all relate to how much we appreciate a helping hand and how good we feel inside when we help others. So why is it that we get so busy and caught up in our own world that we don’t find time to allow ourselves to practice random acts of kindness on a regular basis? Like Tricia said at our luncheon this week, once you start doing something on a regular basis it becomes easier to do and when you find out how uplifting and wonderful you feel inside for giving back and supporting others, it becomes easier and easier to do and you just might not be able to enjoy life without it. Wouldn’t that be something! What if everyone was pitching in and supporting others, rather than tearing them down and finding faults? How would the world feel then?

So I encourage you to take the February challenge and provide special “treats” for others through your wonderful acts of kindness by using the On-line Advent Kindness Calendar that Kurt’s team made, and start practicing an act of kindness each day even if you miss a few (or only do it once a week) and see how it feels. Let us know how it is going and what it might do to change or shift your way of thinking. Pay for someone’s Starbuck’s coffee who is standing in line behind you or the person in the Zaxby drive through window who is patiently waiting behind you for their food after a busy day. You don’t have to spend money to support simple acts of kindness either. For instance you could smile at those in the elevator you are on, compliment a complete stranger on what they are wearing, help someone struggling with a heavy load coming into the office building, or just simply engage in active listening and turn off your cell phone in meetings paying attention to the topic at hand. All of these examples are but simple acts of kindness that I’m sure will make this a far better place to live in and have an impact on other people’s lives in a good way. We can all make a big difference each and every day. Image what it would be like to focus on these positive and uplifting acts rather than on all the negative bashing we hear about each day. I’m dialing my friend now!

The best and most successful course of action when you feel the start of this blame game is to recognize it, stop putting blame on others, and start taking action for yourself. Don’t take the easy way out by placing the blame on others. Look internally within yourself and try to understand what you can do to change the situation. You can’t control others, but you can most certainly control yourself. I realize it is not easy. The course of action you might need to take can seem very scary. However, the results can truly be amazing. I know I get caught up sometimes in the game without even realizing it. But, when I finally step back and really am honest with myself, I can see that I’m not headed on a path of success by using this game. I’m stalling my progress, creating unnecessary hurt and anger, and certainly not empowering myself for success.

So, here are four simple steps that I use to help cure myself from playing “The Blame Game.” I hope they help you take responsibility, take action, and start moving you ahead on a path of success.

1. RECOGNIZE – Recognize the discussions, thoughts, and momentum that you have created when placing the blame on someone else and not taking ownership or responsibility yourself.
2. STOP – Stop the negative talk (which always seems to be around if you are playing the blame game).
3. RESPONSIBILITY – Take responsibility for the situation and look within yourself to see what is bothering you and what YOU can do to move forward to resolve the situation.
4. ACTION – Take a positive step forward (even if it’s a very small baby step) and try out a new path that potentially could lead you toward a solution. Focus on the solution and what you can control. Don’t focus on the surroundings. Remember, whether the action pays off or not, you learned something valuable in the process about yourself and about what worked or didn’t work. You are learning something valuable in the process and moving forward toward a solution.

If you follow these four simple steps, you will be well on your way to finding solutions and success in your life. The Game of Taking Responsibility can be much more rewarding (and successful) then The Blame Game!

According to an article on about.com, “The Stress Management and Health Benefits of Laughter: Stress Relief, Immunity, and More” by Elizabeth Scott, M.S., updated January 10, 2011, laughter can be a great stress reliever, increase your immunity, and bring you greater happiness. Not only are the health- induced hormones released when you laugh but your overall perspective on a situation can change. Those all sound like great reasons to me on bringing more laughter and smiles to your work situation.

I know when I smile at someone else and it brightens their mood, that reaction also brightens my mood and helps lift my spirits. Also, when I feel most desolate and frustrated with a situation, listening to a good joke, or thinking about a funny situation, can completely shift my thinking back to a more positive state of mind. When my mind shifts to a more positive state, I am better able to see a solution and recognize a challenge rather than get angry and frustrated with the situation. This shift in focus allows me to move forward instead of stall out.

So next time things are not going as you had planned and you feel down in the dumps, frustrated, or ready for a good cry, think about a funny situation, download a comedy show or movie, or just smile at the next person that passes by you. You might be amazed how that simple act can make such a big difference. A simple smile or joke can change the mood for others around you as well. Take a time out once in a while and keep on smiling! Your success and the success of your team might depend on it. Share with us some ways you allow yourself and those around you to laugh, smile, and simply enjoy their day?

As my mother use to say (and probably yours too), “Patience is a virtue.” What does that really mean? It signifies how important it is for us to have patience in our life in order to be successful. A virtue is a trait or quality deemed to be morally excellent and therefore valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being. Patience is a necessity for a happy existence and that is why the phrase is so often used. When we have patience, good things will come to us. For one thing, our health and blood pressure will benefit from patience and we can enjoy the process.

Sometimes, as I know all too well, it is really hard to be patient. So what do we do then? I like to remind myself why it is so important to have patience and also remember the phrase that “good things happen to those that wait.” I also like to take deep cleansing breathes to help slow me down and remind myself of the benefits of patience.
Here are some ways I can use patience to help me understand myself more clearly and be more successful in the long run.

• Not everyone works at the same level or speed that I do and that is ok
• I can slow down to relax and enjoy the moment. It is the small stuff that really matters.
• I can deal with being in line or having to wait on a slow customer. I’m only hurting myself when I get frustrated with that and increase my blood pressure level! The same holds true with Atlanta traffic. I can use that extra time to unwind and think about the day.
• Everything happens for a reason and sometimes you just can’t see the reason yet.
• My time will come as long as I am focused on leveraging the talents I was given.
• Success doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that like a fine wine, takes time to really come to fruition and that you will savor even more once achieved.

So what ways can you leverage patience to be more success in 2012? Here’s to a happy and patient New Year for you all!

Here are some ideas I have on items to let go of:
• Let go of any grudges you might have toward others realizing how fortunate you are with what you do have
• Let go of blaming others for any misfortunes or obstacles you might have to face and be encouraged by the opportunity to learn and grow
• Let go of any anger and realize that anger results in in-action, not allowing you to move forward toward your goals
• Let go of frustrations and focus on what you were able to accomplish, being thankful for those achievements
• Let go of your fears and take a few risks to help you stretch yourself
• Let go and be free to listen to your heart, be true to your values, and leverage the wonderful gifts and talents you were given

Letting go can really make a huge difference in your life, allowing you to move forward and really make a difference. Now it’s your turn to let us know, what will you let go of to be more successful in 2012? Whether it’s about relationships, your work, your health, or any other dimension of your life, letting go can be liberating. So liberate yourself and let us know what are you letting go of?

I certainly see my family as a blessing but one that can be challenging at times. You might look forward to spending some much needed time off of work to enjoy the time with your family. Remember to enjoy that time and not get too stressed out with the environment itself. If the house gets a bit messy, let it go. Enjoy and share the time you have with your family. They may have to rush off after the holiday, go back to school, back to their own jobs, their own homes, and their own lives, so enjoy the time you do have with them.

Look at ways to de-stress the time you spend with your family. Order take-in food a few nights to help alleviate you from having to do all the cooking. Create a family cook together night that involves everyone visiting for the holidays helping to prepare and serve the food. Get everyone involved in the process of cleaning up or running errands. Look for ways to involve the family in some of the responsibilities of the crowd.

Also, look for ways to enjoy the family time. Play some games, watch movies, or just take a walk together. Find activities that involve your family to build on this precious time together. Let each member pick an activity potentially to do together.

In the end, you will remember the time shared with others and the laughing and enjoyment, so give yourself permission to be less than perfect and to enjoy your time with your family and friends during this holiday season. Happy Holidays to all and enjoy your time with your families these next few weeks.

1. First, determine what is working for you. Celebrate and capitalize on those strengths to motivate you for the coming year and to focus your attention on positive results taking those results into the coming year. Be sure you take these strengths and continue to capitalize them as you move forward.

2. Let go of any anger or frustration. I know this can be easier said than done. But putting blame on others or getting angry will stall you in your tracks. You have the power to succeed and reach your dreams. Maybe it wasn’t the right time for you to achieve all you had on your plate. Maybe there is still some learning or development to do. Take a deep breath, let it out, and focus on what you can control. Do not take aim at blaming others.

3. Learn, learn, learn. Ask yourself, “What did I learn this year that I can capitalize and use in the upcoming year to be more effective and to meet my goals?” Did I set out for too large of goals to begin with? Did I not ask for the right help when I needed it the most? Did I not seek out feedback from those I worked with on a regular basis to see if I was on target to meet my goals? What can I learn from not achieving what I set out to achieve?

4. Now, take your learning’s and your strengths to create your plan for the new year. What are realistic and achievable goals for me in the upcoming year? What mechanisms can I put into place to help me achieve these goals? What checkpoints do I need to support me and what network or individuals do I need to be successful?

5. Persevere. Realize that what you really believe in and know to be true in your heart will ultimately come true but you have to learn, grow, and stick with that purpose. There will be challenges, there will be obstacles, and there will be years where you don’t reach all the goals you set out to achieve. That’s ok! You may not reach your goals in the time table you set but with perseverance and conviction, you will eventually make it to your destination if you stick with it. Remember to enjoy your journey and be present in what is unfolding around you.

Through perseverance so much can be achieved, so stick with it and when the time is right, you will see that your determination and efforts do pay off. Listen to your heart, use your strengths, and don’t allow yourself to blame others in the process. Here’s to your continued success and perseverance in the coming year!